Day 12: The Day I Bought Sun Cream In January

I've been working for almost two years now and have gradually grown sick of every type of sandwich that London has to offer. Most things for lunch in the area are too boring, too expensive or too unhealthy. Usually I have to decide in my head what I'm going to eat by about 11.30am. Otherwise when 1pm comes, I start stressing about what to eat and find myself wandering around aimlessly, looking for inspiration. Today was one of those days.

A young man with a sandwich board around his neck walked past. He was advertising a new place that had opened up in the area. 'Sick of sandwiches?' the board read. 'Try Sam's Chinese Express'. Why not? I fancied a change.

Managed to find Sam's Chinese Express on the corner of the next road. It didn't look like much and I have to say, I was a bit skeptical of the name. Sam's? It's not the most Chinese name in the world. It would be like going to Dave's Sushi, or Phil's Curry House. I thought I'd try it out anyway. Stunk the whole office out with my sweet and sour chicken and rice. It would've been pretty good actually if it wasn't glowing neon orange.

I do love a Chinese takeaway. I haven't had a great record with ordering deliveries though. During Freshers' Week at uni, Marc and I made the wise decision to avoid the canteen in the halls of residence and order a Chinese delivery. About half an hour later, my mobile rang to tell me to come and collect the food from the front of the building. I left my room, walked down the corridor and spotted a Chinese guy heading towards me holding two white carrier bags.

'Are you the Chinese guy?' I asked, eyeing up the plastic bags. 'Huh'? he replied, confused and perplexed. 'The Chinese guy?' I repeated. 'Two sweet and sour chickens, two egg fried rice?' I was getting impatient. The guy looked at me, furrowed his brow and said aggressively, 'F*ck off!' It turned out he was my new next door neighbour. We never spoke again.

On the way home, the overground train was a bit delayed so I thought I'd kill some time by roaming around Boots in Euston station. I noticed that there was a buy one, get one free offer for sun cream, so I thought I might as well stock up. It may be January and I may not have a holiday booked, but I didn't want to miss out on this deal. Plus, you have to buy it at some point anyway - getting burnt is a miserable feeling.

On holiday last year, I fell asleep on my front in the sun and got terribly burnt on my back. The problem was, my front was still completely white. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I looked like one of those rhubarb and custard sweets.

I was in complete agony. Tamara did everything she could to help. 'Apparently if you apply yoghurt, it's really good for sunburn', she suggested. It sounded weird but I was ready to try anything. She took some yoghurt from the fridge, peeled back the lid and emptied the entire thing on my raw back.

It was sort of soothing, but what Tamara hadn't realised was that I needed natural yoghurt, not a Muller Fruit Corner. A few minutes passed by. 'What's that smell?', I asked, as a small chunk of pineapple slid down my back and nestled itself in between my bum cheeks. The heat from my back had caused the yoghurt to curdle and turn into cheese!