Day 10: The Day I Started Training

The journey into work this morning was relatively smooth, aside from managing to get myself wedged in the revolving doors of the office. I'm not great with revolving doors. Last year at the Christmas party, my colleague, Rebecca, and I were walking into the building. I pushed the doors a little too hard, she tripped over, smashed her head against the glass and landed in a mangled heap on the floor. This led to a trip to hospital, several head scans and a diagnosis of concussion. Like I said, I'm not great with revolving doors.

Had a terrible headache for most of the day. Thought it might be due to dehydration, so ended up drinking litres and litres of water all morning. It wasn't long before I was bursting for the toilet. Went to wash my hands. The company have recently replaced the paper towels with hand driers in order to be more green. The problem is, they've installed those ultra powerful Dyson ones that make more noise than a rocket taking off. Since I already had a headache, I decided to dry my hands on the back of my trousers. The thing is, I was wearing light coloured jeans today and when I looked in the mirror I noticed two giant, wet handprints on my bum. I didn't want my colleagues to think I'd been groped in the toilets, so had to wait there patiently until the handprints dried.

On the way back from work, I saw a horrendous accident. A car collided with a motorbike literally 20 yards in front of me, sending the motorcyclist skidding across the road. Thought I'd be a good Samaritan and ran over to help. Luckily the motorcyclist wasn't badly hurt. He was an old guy with a ponytail and no teeth (I'm not sure if he had teeth before the accident). I was just delighted that I didn't have to give him mouth to mouth. The bike was a complete write-off though. During the accident, he had dropped hundreds of leaflets in the road, which I helped to collect. Ironically, the leaflets were advertising a motorbike sale. I highly recommend he doesn't buy another one.

Went out for a Korean meal with Tamara tonight. We go there quite often as they do really good food. As we walked in, the waiter asked if we had booked a table. 'Yes, it's for Tamara', I said. 'Tomorrow?' he replied. 'You want a table for tomorrow?' This happens every single time.

Whenever we go to the Korean restuarant they serve us some free appetisers, one of which needs to be seen to be believed.

I have no idea what it is. I don't even think the waiters are sure. Four cubes of an unidentified jelly-like substance, which the chef has tried to decorate with sliced carrot and spring onion. It glistens in the light and if you look carefully, you can even see your reflection in it. I've never eaten it. I never have and I never will. I don't trust the way it wobbles.

Thought I'd start training for the Berlin marathon tonight. I'm not a good runner. The last time I signed up for a run was a 10km race in secondary school. All the parents had come to watch and support their sons. The headmaster was there too. I didn't just come last out of 150 people. I finished about an hour later than the boy who came second last. Everyone's parents had gone home apart from mine, who I found sitting having a coffee with the headmaster.

Managed to pull together some running clothes. Well, my tracksuit bottoms had a gaping hole in the crotch area, but they were just about wearable. So off I went on my merry way, iPod in hand, testicles swinging in the breeze. I think I ran for about 3 minutes before I was panting, coughing and utterly convinced I had frostbite in my scrotum.

I wasn't prepared to run any further. 3 minutes was more than enough. Luckily, I managed to hitchhike a ride back...Jake was on his way home and happened to pull up next to me. Result!

My training for the Berlin marathon had begun.